


a study in white

by vandoorne



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Discrimination, Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 15:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13056498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vandoorne/pseuds/vandoorne
Summary: snippets of saguru's life in tokyo.





	a study in white

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Traykor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Traykor/gifts).



Saguru’s just alighted from the train, his public school education all packed into a heavy suitcase. Back for good this time in Tokyo, perhaps. The cold air is crisp on his face, and it takes a good moment to take it all in. This isn’t the London metro, in all its confusing glory. This is Tokyo station, and he’s going home.

(Or is he? Home is a abstract concept to him now — is it London where he passes for white most of the time, if people don’t scrutinise his features too much and ask where he’s from (London) _originally_ or if they don’t ask for his name, god forbid. But does he even belong in Tokyo if he sticks out so much despite having a Japanese name? A child of two worlds was what his mother had called him when he was younger. What she had left out, perhaps, was the fact that he would belong to neither, always left in limbo on the outside.)

He’s wandering the station now, searching for the loop line. His father had offered to send the chauffeur, he had declined, saying that it would be a good opportunity to reconnect with Japan by getting back from the airport on his own. He’s faced with a flight of stairs, and he whirls around, coming face to face with one of the station staff.

‘Do you need help?’ she asks in english.

‘Could you tell me where the _lift_ is?’ he asks, in japanese. Sounding just like he never left Tokyo, without a hint of a British accent.

‘I’m sorry?’ Still in english.

‘The _lift_?’

‘ _Lift_?’

He blinks. The lift. Right. That’s english. _British_ english. The japanese word comes from _American_ english. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says. Smiles. ‘I was referring to the elevator.’

‘Elevator! This way please,’ she says, ready to lead the way. All in english again.

Fantastic. Yet another reminder about why he’d rather not return to Tokyo.

 

It’s always the small things that get to Saguru. Things like _what’s your name?_ Hakuba Saguru. _Your_ real _name please. English? My name is Hakuba Saguru. I’m Japanese._ or things like _you speak japanese really well. I’m Japanese, actually. Oh, I’m sorry. followed by nervous embarrassed laughter that he has to grin and bear_ or things like _here, english menu, followed by the complete refusal to speak to him in japanese._

At the end of the day, be it in Tokyo or London, he’s the white guy with the japanese name, the one who would never belong anywhere.

 

_‘Why don’t you give yourself an english name?’ Raghav asks. Prep has just begun, it’s two hours before they’re off to their rooms for bed, but Saguru’s eyelids are already heavy._

_‘Speak for yourself,’ Saguru retorts. He drops his pen wilfully, letting it create an ink blotch on his maths worksheet._

_‘I’m Indian,’ Raghav snorts. ‘English name or not, I don’t pass for white, unlike you.’_

_‘I’m Japanese. End of story.’_

_‘Your mother would be disappointed,’ Raghav remarks._

_‘Doesn’t matter actually, he’s got an english name already. The guru, eh? My boy here can figure out just about anything you want him to,’ Thomas says, slapping Saguru’s back hard as he slides into the seat beside him. ‘ _Guru_. Lad’s a legend.’_

_‘Shut up,’ Saguru says, but he doesn’t actually mean it. The three of them make up a weird bunch, all British Asians, or is it Asian British? Thomas is the only one with an english name, but he looks more like his mother, who was from Hong Kong. Raghav is too dark to pass as white like his mother, too light for Indians to see him as one of their own like his father. Either way, they don’t quite fit in._

 

‘Ne, Saguru-kun.’

‘Hmm?’ Saguru doesn’t look up, concentrating on finishing their assigned passage for english class in the shortest time possible. If there’s anything he particularly dislikes about Ekoda High, with the exception of the irritating fly named Kuroba Kaito, it’s the deplorable state of english education which their teacher fails to improve, try as hard as she can.

‘Why did you come back to Japan?’

Saguru stops. ‘Why did _you_ come back?’ he returns the question.

‘My grandmother wouldn’t come to America.’ Chihiro says, shrugging. She sits in front of Saguru, and she’s got her body twisted just trying to turn around to talk to him. ‘And she’s dying. Besides, I wasn’t in America for very long. You stayed in London for years though. How did you leave that all behind?’

‘I came back to find my roots,’ Saguru says, returning to his worksheet. He’s careful to avoid Chihiro’s eyes.

‘Bullshit,’ Chihiro replies, in english.

Saguru frowns. It isn’t a lie, but then again, it isn’t the complete truth, isn’t it? He had dreams of going up to Oxford, gotten all ready to pick his subject combination for his A levels, had dreams of becoming a twenty first century Sherlock Holmes, learning London’s streets on his bicycle alongside cabbies going for The Knowledge, putting together an impressive resume of cases closed. All that is swept cleanly away, now that he’s in Tokyo again. What for? Why is he even here? Sure, Kaito Kid is a worthy adversary for now, but all that is temporary. Is there even a future for him to look forward to here?

‘Bet you’re thinking that London’s better now, right?’ she asks, with a smug smile on her face.

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Saguru replies, in japanese. He smiles, tight.

‘Man, I miss America,’ she answers in japanese, snorting.

Saguru does not reply.

 

‘I’m impressed,’ Edogawa Conan says, falling into step with Saguru.

‘I’m flattered,’ Saguru replies, voice wry.

‘How did you figure out where the stolen jewels were so quickly?’

‘The victim was clutching her boot. There was nothing inside it, so think a little further — she was educated overseas, in Manchester, to be exact. Boot, in British english, refers to what is the car _trunk_ in American english.’

Edogawa nods. ‘I see.’

‘You’re more familiar with American english, aren’t you?’

Edogawa laughs. ‘It’s mostly American dramas on television these days,’ he says. ‘See you around, Hakuba onii-san!’

A shiver goes down Saguru’s spine when he hears that, but he cannot quite figure out why and it unsettles him. Probably to do with how Edogawa may be a seven year old kid, but he’s pretty sure he’s got the intellect of someone much older.

 

Things Saguru likes about Tokyo so far:

1\. The trains arrive on time  
2\. Everything is neatly packed and packaged  
3\. Wet towels for cleaning his hands after eating snacks purchased from a convenience store  
4\. Catching Kaito Kid  
5\. To be decided

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you don't mind my use of OCs! happy holidays, traykor!


End file.
